At the end of last year I had the joy and privilege of facilitating the first in person session for the Community-Led Research Collaboration. Entering into a space with 12 people who don’t know each other is always nerve-wracking, but this time it was particularly so because I believe so deeply in the group's work and also knew just how massive it was that everyone had committed to being in person together in this way. Some people had taken 7 hour train trips, some people had assistance dogs and children accompanying them, many of the group had to pause on urgent and pressing demands from work, and everyone was battling different anxieties around meeting a new group of people they were expected to collaborate with for the next few months.
During the session we shared more about what we value, why we do the work we do, we spent time in pairs hearing what we each found hard about our work, and we developed some wicked questions together in groups.
The intention of this first session was simply to build relationships and trust among the group and as I listened to all the commitments people made to each other at the end of the session I knew we’d more than achieved that together. It was clear that people had shown up for each other and were excited to show up for each other even more over the coming months.
But there were also still feelings of uncertainty, and questions about ‘what is it that we are actually doing together’. For me there were two reasons for this lingering feeling - one was as a result of the fact everyone had spent the day sharing deeply painful and challenging stuff with each other which left a lot of threads open, and another is due to the fact that when we are receiving money for something we are all so conditioned to feel that gives someone the right to tell us what we are supposed to deliver.
I myself had left the session with my heart and pores open because all of the participants had really stepped into sharing meaningful and profound reflections about their work in a very vulnerable and authentic way. It made me panic that either people might have left the session feeling entangled or helpless now that all of the pain of trying to do community research within a broken system had been acknowledged, or that the outside world might feel excruciatingly sharp as they ventured back into more extractive, hypocritical or devaluing experiences without their peers alongside them.
But I reminded myself that the point of the session was to build resonance and relationships and that many people remarked during and after the session that it was liberating just to know that they weren’t alone with the struggles they have within their work. When we embark on journeys like this from a place of realism about the challenges, constraints and injustices that exist, rather than from a place of toxic positivity and endless possibilities, it enables us to make more strategic and informed decisions about how we want to operate as a group with that context in mind. Being more honest also helps us consider how we can ensure our work actually translates into something which can take root in the world we operate within.
With this idea of ‘taking root’ in mind it speaks to the other question people were left with - which is what is the ‘thing’ or ‘idea’ we are delivering together. While we hope that this process leads to the group designing a new idea or approach together, we cannot start in that place for a multitude of reasons:
An idea from a funder is less relevant/useful than ideas from those closest to the work
Telling people what to do doesn’t build intrinsic motivation
A great idea won’t grow without the right environment
There are ideas aplenty in the world, but so many of them don’t come to fruition because they are not rooted in soil that can sustain them. Therefore this process isn’t really about creating the seed, seeds exist within all of us already. This process is about creating the soil - through centring relationships, sharing understanding, creating connective and abundant experiences, building resilience together - that will eventually enable a seed to germinate, grow and bear fruit.
But it’s a lot to ask a group that doesn't know each other to simply show up and hold the space for that. We don’t exist in a society that teaches us to cultivate - we exist in a society that dictates and controls. Therefore a group coming together to simply hold space for one another; suspending judgement and time so that they can be fully present; is a beautiful and hopeful act. Creating this space ensures that we are ready for this journey together, and we are ready to make space for people, ideas or seeds that have not found a home in other more restrictive and hostile environments.
All that said, I can tell that the group does already have a million and one things they could do together. I have facilitated many academic groups before - but usually I’m less concerned about the content of their rambles and more concerned about ensuring they aren’t talking over the top of each other. In that type of environment everyone seems to be saying a lot while not really saying much at all so you can let most of it wash over you. With this group however, every single thing that everyone said was so deeply meaningful and insightful - and I could tell that everyone wanted to be able to internalise and reflect on the weight of everyone’s words.
I was also desperately wishing I could capture every single thing that everyone said, but I reminded myself of my facilitation mantra that stops me from taking on too much emotional labour or cognitive processing “What will stick will stick”. And what I hope will stick the most is the resonance that the group feel between the words they speak; the feeling in their body that being present with one another’s stories provokes; and the capacity to move together in an embodied way as we embark on a process of change and transformation.