This letter is from Emily Barrett, a freelance facilitator and consultant, to the people she has co-facilitated with over the last few years.
Dear Co-facilitators,
Co-facilitating with you has been a joy! Over the past five years or so, I’ve been fortunate enough to co-facilitate on different projects with a number of other professionals, across the UK, and even, from across the pond. To begin with, I was new to the world of facilitation, and you offered me support, feedback, and, most importantly, trust. Trust to work alongside you as an equal, and trust that together we would do a good job.
In my first co-facilitation experience, Roger, you shared the load and handed over the mic. I still remember the buzz afterwards. Hearing you say, “She’s an up-and-coming facilitator!” - that feedback and encouragement carried me forward.
Since then, I’ve worked with friends, peers, and colleagues across contexts and sectors, and almost all of these experiences have been deeply positive.
But what makes them good? What makes co-facilitation work?
These experiences have come in all shapes and sizes. In some cases it’s meant sharing the mic and stage throughout, taking turns to lead different parts of the session. In others, one person has played the supportive critical friend - listening, keeping time, offering interventions where needed - while the other leads the group.
Across all of these (good) experiences, there have been some common threads. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, a shared sense of responsibility and respect. Showing up as equals, with clear roles and mutual accountability. Secondly, being present for each other and for the group, whether that meant being ‘backup’ in a tight spot, or intuitively reading each other’s rhythm and energy in the room. Our skills and styles were complementary, enriching the work instead of clashing, and there was an openness and generosity in how we worked together. A willingness to step in or step back as needed, without ego, always in service of the group.
At its best, co-facilitation feels like a dance. You know the moves your partner will make. It’s smooth, creative, and joyful to watch unfold. And for me it’s been one of the greatest gifts of working as a facilitator. Working with others, supporting, caring and celebrating each other. are some of the reasons we are facilitators in the first place.
Jess, you once said to me, “Co-facilitation is a tricky thing to get right, and it felt easy with Emily,” and I felt exactly the same about working with you. It felt natural. The activities and processes were smooth, and importantly, it was a good experience for everyone — us and the group.
I’ve been lucky - almost all of my co-facilitation experiences have felt supportive, equitable, respectful and caring. There has only been one, early in my freelance journey, that didn’t work out the way I hoped.
On paper it seemed ideal: we shared values, skills and experiences that were complementary, and we agreed on everything clearly — rates, deadlines, agenda, division of planning and activities. We co-authored the proposal. We talked through intentions, risks, and how we would support each other in the moment, during the session.
But on the day, the preparation wasn’t there. The shared responsibility had vanished into thin air. And it all seemed to land on my shoulders. With no warning, and seemingly little care. And without that care, without working together equally in partnership, co-facilitation doesn’t work.
It was really hard, and I went over and over what I could have done differently.
With more experience now, I see clearly that good co-facilitation isn’t just about liking someone or sharing a vision. It’s about turning up for each other, before, during, and after, with the same level of care we offer the group.
From that experience, as well as from all the brilliant ones, a few key things have stayed with me.
Firstly, testing the water matters, and wherever possible it helps to work alongside someone first, even informally, before committing to co-facilitation. The majority of wonderful co-facilitators I;ve worked with since have been existing friends and peers, and facilitators I’ve worked with before (perhaps in another context). Working together was easy, and co-facilitating together felt natural and right - we knew it would work.
I’ve also learnt to pay attention to how someone prepares and shows up: whether they follow through, communicate clearly, and hold their part of the work with care. I always see the best in people, as we so often do, and so perhaps I was a bit naive at the start about this, and missed ‘red flags’ that indicated that person wasn’t fully ‘in it together’. I gave too much of myself to a process that should have been mutual. Open conversations and sharing expectations about roles and working together, and importantly being open when expectations aren’t met or things aren’t working, are just as important as shared values, creating clarity and accountability on both sides.
Perhaps most importantly, co-facilitation should be a true collaboration, rather than simply ‘shared delivery’ as I may have seen it when starting out. It’s about how you work together with each other and with the group. Great co-facilitation isn’t just about sharing the stage; it’s about shared purpose, synergy, and flow. It should be fun and joyful! Facilitating can be exhausting and a massive juggling act of emotions, group dynamics, politics, and aims and objectives. Co-facilitating is a relay race, a shared effort to get to the finish line. When two facilitators align in intention and approach, with care for each other and their practice, the learning experience becomes richer and more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Overall, my experience of co-facilitation has been overwhelmingly positive. It has inspired me, deepened my practice, broadened my perspectives, and reminded me again and again that facilitation is best held in partnership, with others and the groups we serve.
If my co-facilitators are reading this - thank you. Thank you for the trust, the feedback, the laughter, the shared energy, and the problem solving. Thank you for caring. I look forward to what we do together next. When will that be by the way?
If you’re curious about co-facilitation but haven’t yet tried it, maybe this is your invitation to find someone - the right someone - and give it a go.
Warmly,
Emily
Emily is a freelance facilitator and co-facilitator with a background in higher education, specialising in bringing together academia, industry, and communities to exchange ideas in creative and impactful ways. Her facilitation practice began through organising and delivering hackathon weekends and now spans a wide range of workshops and events across sectors, with a strong focus on collaboration and turning ideas into action.
This letter is part of the holding space together series. A collection of letters to and from people who are part of the Holding Space community - if you want to be part of this space you can join an upcoming cohort